5 Tips for Finding a New Therapist (#16)
8 Minute Read
We get it. Opening up to someone and seeking help for your mental health can be a really daunting process. What if they totally miss the mark? What if you end up feeling worse than when you started? How do you even know what to look for when calling to schedule an appointment? Well, speaking from both of our experiences, utilizing some of the tips below can help make that first session a little more comfortable, and give you some more insight as to whether or not this new therapist is a good fit.
Ask your friends, colleagues, and people within your circle of influence if they have any recommendations for therapists. If you are close enough to that person, also ask them what they like about that therapist and why they decided to stay with them. You might not end up seeing the same therapist, but it gives you a good direction to start looking. Psychology Today is a great tool to search for therapists in your area.
Take some time to reflect on the qualities of the person you feel closest to, and how they help you to feel safe and heard. Perhaps your best friend is from a minority background, shares the same gender, and allows you full control of the conversation without making the situation about themselves. You might want to seek out a therapist that has a similar cultural understanding, is also the same gender, and listens more than talks.
If given the opportunity, complete the intake paperwork ahead of time to save yourself 15 minutes so you can jump straight into why you’re seeking therapy in the first place. If you must complete the paperwork in person, make sure to ask your therapist about their billing process, cancellation policy, and their limits of confidentiality.
See if your therapist is willing to take feedback about their session, or if they ask you for feedback in general. Therapy is a two-way street that requires both therapist and client to be putting in the work for change. If your therapist becomes defensive or becomes afraid of your feedback, that might be an indication that it is not a good fit. You deserve to work with someone that incorporates your experience to ensure quality service.
Give yourself 3 sessions if financially possible before deciding whether to continue with this therapist or find someone different. Finding a therapist is a lot like dating, and if it does not feel right, there’s no need to force yourself to stay with someone you have difficulty trusting. In fact, if you feel like switching therapists, you might even ask the person that you’re working with for a referral. Most therapists have a pretty wide network, and if they have your best interests at heart, they are going to want to help you find your best fit.
Bonus: If you have friends in the mental health field, whether they are a marriage and family therapist, clinical counselor, social worker, or psychologist, have a chat with them about your interest in therapy and see what they would recommend. Psychology Today can give you a whole list of therapists nearby, but it can also be extremely overwhelming when you do not understand all of the professional jargon. By recruiting experts in the field, they can quickly look through someone’s profile and determine whether or not this person has experience with your concerns, or even give you certain therapy buzzwords to narrow down your search.
Ultimately, the research makes it very clear that the therapist-client relationship is one of the primary factors in creating a successful clinical outcome. Even if you are the type of person that takes FOREVER to open up to someone, you still deserve a clinician that will ease you into the healing process at your own willingness. Like we mentioned in Tip 5, it might take a few different visits before you find the right fit, and that is totally fine. Be gentle with yourself and the process, maybe even deciding how much you want to share before going into the session. Your experiences are valid, and it is our greatest hope that you get to work with someone that provides the right tools at the right moment for you to create the future that you want.