Managing my career as a model and associate marriage and family therapist is all about finding balance, which I discuss in this previous post. However, one of the most rewarding aspects of studying to be a therapist has been the tools I get to use on a regular basis as a model. Contrary to how I might present in photos or public events, there are a lot of challenging thought processes that go on underneath, many of which I have learned to address through therapeutic skills. By breaking the skills down into pre-casting, casting, and post-casting, I hope that you will be able to utilize some of these techniques in your own career path.

Pre-Casting

The biggest feelings that come up are nervousness and discomfort, which I will occasionally try to offset through avoidance. Instead of avoiding the feelings, I have learned to confront them with the following steps:

Practice measured breathing, take deep breaths

The science behind heart rate and corresponding emotional response is really fascinating. A research article published earlier this year showed that when people listened to a faster heart rate during their workout, they believed that they were exercising harder than reality. By engaging in measured breathing (5-6 breaths a minute) or deep breaths (inhale-pause-exhale-pause for 3-5 counts each), you can actively slow down your heart rate, sending information to the brain that your body is regulated, thus reducing the impact of stressful emotions.

Positive self-talk

Just like the thought record that was introduced last week, training your brain to reach for alternative thoughts can shift one’s entire outlook. Before I go into castings, I remind myself that getting the gig (or not) does not have any impact on who I am as a person. I recall the positive internal parts of my character that will follow me through the rest of my life, thus placing less significance on the casting entirely.

Casting

Avoid jumping to conclusions

Our brains lie to us all of the time, but we tend to believe our brains when they are being negative as part of our survival strategies. For example, I would rather believe my brain’s lie that a director let me go early because they disliked my performance, just so that I am not as let down if it turns out to be true. This kind of thinking not only sabotages our present state, but can also prevent us from seizing opportunities in the future. Instead, I will examine the facts and come up with multiple possible reasons, while concluding that I simply will not know the actual rationale until the results are released.

Letting go of “should” statements

I should go to the gym. I should push myself harder. I should get eight hours of sleep. Should, should, should. The problem with telling ourselves what we should do, is that it tends to magnify the impact of that one objective, while also shaming ourselves for not meeting our own standards. Guilt-tripping might work a couple of times, but sooner or later, we get tired of being inadequate and often resort to giving up. While at a casting, if I notice myself saying things like “I should have gone to the gym, because then I would look better,” I’ll remind myself that getting camera ready requires dedication on multiple fronts. Furthermore, a single trip to the gym is not going to drastically change my body or the casting outcome. When I do go to the gym, or make myself a healthy meal, or spend some time meditating, I commend myself for adding another drop to the overall bucket of balanced living.

Post-Casting

Bite-sized successes

Even with all of the positive self-talk and shifting my mentality, sometimes after a casting I will still find myself marching down the rabbit hole of unhelpful stress spiraling. In those moments, I try to target an opportunity for tiny successes that take my mind off of things that are outside of my control. Upping my physical intensity through a quick but challenging workout (such as a series of push-ups) or my mental intensity through a concrete task (such as budgeting for the next week) can override those S.O.S signals to reset and recharge the brain.

Lean into discomfort

I am an introvert, and will always find attending large networking events where I do not know anyone to be an uncomfortable experience. However, avoidance is the best way to reinforce anxiety, making it more difficult to push myself out of my shell the next time something similar comes around. Embarking on this unlikely cohabitation journey of therapy and modeling has taught me that it is okay to be uncomfortable, as long as I do the hard thing anyway. Even if I don’t end up getting booked, I can enjoy the fact that I even got to audition, or celebrate someone else’s success. I will think back to the instances when I did something I did not “feel like” doing and ended up having a great time; those memories help me to make the most of where I am at in the present, with additional hope for new possibilities.

Continued reflection

I have done some REALLY awkward things as a model. One time I had to pick a song to dance to in front of a casting team of four, with the music bleeping softly out of a laptop speaker. Spoiler alert: I looked like a fool. Another cringe-worthy moment happened when I was asked to read Chinese for a credit card commercial, except for the fact that I could not read characters. So that was great. By actively reflecting on moments that made me super uncomfortable, I can pump myself up for new challenges by reminding myself that I have done far more embarrassing things before.

The best and worst part of being a therapist/model is that I get to try new things every day. Some days are phenomenal, and other days make me want to stay in bed until next week. I am not sure how long I will continue to pursue both careers, not because of a particular timeline, but because I have realized that the outcome is not as significant as the process. With each new experience, I not only get to learn from both worlds, but also apply lessons from each across industries. If you are a model looking to explore an additional career, or a therapist looking to expand your influence, I would love to help you navigate the course! You can reach out via the contact page or call (818)-465-8859 to schedule an appointment. Happy holidays!

Cohabitation: modeling meets therapy (part 3 of 3) (#9)