From Tech to Therapist (#1)
5 Minute Read
I never thought I would become a therapist one day. Growing up, I saw myself as entrepreneurial – this meant that I could step outside of the qualifications of “good grades” to create my own success instead. Despite the traditional Kumon drills and Chinese classes, I struggled to fit inside the mold of what a good student should be. With each new chapter in my life, I tried to take on different roles and discover creative solutions to solve the immediate problems. Filled with this drive for purposeful adventure, I sought out opportunities in college with my own start-up company: Koi Learning.
While studying Finance at DePaul University I did not give much thought to my next steps. Loosely, I presumed that I would continue college consulting with Koi Learning, move to China once I graduated, and then be financially successful enough to move on to another venture. During my senior year, it quickly became apparent that not only did I lack the passion for this field, I was also not fully equipped to do business in China. In the process of trying out a new service, Koi Learning organized a two-week immersion summer camp in San Francisco, where I promptly fell in love with the weather, the forward-thinking people, and the potential windfall that would finally elevate me beyond my family’s expectations. Upon graduating, I left Chicago and moved into a co-op in SOMA (South of Market) with 70 other roommates. I slept in a converted bathroom with a roommate for 6 months and paid $1250 per month for rent. The living conditions were pretty tragic but the relationships that developed while living there were worthwhile!
No story about San Francisco would be complete without giving a shout-out to Nikhil for helping me land my first job at Zenefits. Even though I was laid off after four months of working hard, I managed to reap a pretty sizeable severance package. The surge of income allowed me to dabble in a lifestyle of fun and traveling, before settling into my second job at Guideline. I jumped at the opportunity to take this job simply because I was running out of funds and the title promotion sounded great. Unfortunately, this is when the poor habits I had developed started taking over. Even though everything was looking up, I failed to safeguard the relationships that treated me well, where just a small thank you note or a closing coffee meetup might have built a foundation for continued growth. Whenever things were running smoothly, it was easier to avoid doing hard work and distract myself with more interesting pursuits. Barely a few months into this new job, I was fired.
The next period that followed were some pretty dark days. My thoughts swirled around the themes of “you suck,” “what am I even doing in this world,” and “I might never amount to anything.” In between bouts of lethargy, staring at a screen, and dragging myself to exercise, I was forced to actually contemplate what I wanted to do. As the only son of Chinese immigrants, the cultural pressure to take care of myself, my family, and secure a comfortable living not only added to my stress of being aimless, but also obscured the fact I was blaming others for my distress instead of taking accountability for the areas where I screwed up. Some silver lining came from leaning hard on the relationships that I was really close with, and ultimately bringing it back full circle to recognize that this failure was just another hurdle for entrepreneurship to overcome.
Two years and one Marriage and Family Therapy master’s degree later, I remain confident that I am unique. Just because other people are doing a fantastic job does not mean that there is no room for my own creativity, and gradual growth is vastly underrated. In a society that values efficiency over effort, I have learned to be patient with the process, and trust that if I keep chipping away at the momentary limitations, the envisioned product will eventually take form. Each one of us possesses different setbacks and privileges, but if we closely examine our individual histories, we will find evidence for multiple personal victories tucked in plain sight. No one else can do what you do, so I hope that my story encourages you to be grateful for the little things, and charge forward with the freedom empowered by personal responsibility.
